rain rain rain

I love the rain!  It has been raining here non stop for at least 4 days. It looks and smells so clean. I love kickin back with a cup of coffee and just watching it rain. Good time to think about my life. And that's all I have to say about that!

I have 2 new reactions to this new chemo drug. First, I have no appetite because I know that when I eat my stomach hurts and I can't keep it down. This is not good because I need to keep my calories up so I will be strong to fight the cancer. I may go back to protein drinks and anti-nausea pills. The next thing is insomnia. I just lay there at night and "Think about my life".  There are those words again. I am trying to focus on the present, taking it day by day. Things are good,  I have my family and friends. I couldn't adore my grandchildren more! All in all, life is good.  Everyone here is decorating the Christmas tree. The kids here, Thais and Tiago, are so excited.  I watch them and I just have to smile. The things they say and do are great, funny and sometimes shocking. They hold nothing back and say what they mean. It is great.

I received a package from London today.  It was August's school picture. She looks so grown up. There is also a picture of Jessica, Christian, Augi and Emmett. They all look great.  The Christmas card has a drawing of an angel drawn by August. She is quite the artist. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, really! I love those guys!!

I saw a genetics counselor Friday. He took saliva samples from me to get my genes tested. It should take about 2 weeks to get the results. I am doing this mainly for my daughter. If I have the gene for ovarian cancer then she can be tested. It can be helpful for my sisters also, if they want it to be. I may be able to give them some helpful information if they choose to pursue it farther. I talked with him for about an hour. We went over my family tree, as far as I could remember. He also talked about the risks of having this done. Its mainly concerning medical insurance and life insurance and the inability to get it once my results are on file. Marcos, the geneticist, said it was "like finding the needle in the haystack."  He was very nice and I enjoyed our visit. I will see him on January 5th to go over the results and discuss where to go from here.  I am not sure what that means but I am sure he will tell me.It should be interesting. I sincerely hope that this cancer is just a mutated gene on its own. We will see. 

 I want to express my thanks to all of you for your support this last year.  Just talking and laughing with each one of you has helped me through this, both emotionally and physically. Each and every one of you are my heros.  May you all have a fantastic christmas as well a fabulous 2011!!