Time for an update...

This is not Valerie writing, it is Jessi, her daughter.
My mom doesn't have internet access for the moment, so she asked me to make a post. As of Monday, she is back in Utah. She felt good enough to make the drive with Linda (Thanks Linda!) so they left San Diego and made the 14 hour drive to Utah. Her spirits are good, but her health is not great. The cancer wasn't responding well to the most recent round of chemotherapy. She decided she should come back to Utah because that is where most of her siblings live and they can help with anything she needs. She continued to think she would go back to work up until a few weeks ago, but she has too much pain right now. Yesterday she went to the Cancer Wellness House for support and resources. She constantly has fluid building up in her abdomen and less often in her lungs. This is painful for her. She stopped by the University hospital yesterday to see if they could drain the fluid and they decided to keep her over night. Her blood is thin and she is very weak, so it is too risky to try to drain any fluid right now. She is currently awaiting a visit from the oncologist at the hospital. Keep your fingers crossed that they have some new ideas for treatment and pain management! I know she would appreciate hearing from her friends right now. She is in pain and scared, but still manages to laugh and she sounds just like her old self on the phone.
I will try to get her some internet access at home, but in the mean time I will relay any messages to her, so feel free to comment here or call her. If you need her #, let me know and I will email it to you!

rain rain rain

I love the rain!  It has been raining here non stop for at least 4 days. It looks and smells so clean. I love kickin back with a cup of coffee and just watching it rain. Good time to think about my life. And that's all I have to say about that!

I have 2 new reactions to this new chemo drug. First, I have no appetite because I know that when I eat my stomach hurts and I can't keep it down. This is not good because I need to keep my calories up so I will be strong to fight the cancer. I may go back to protein drinks and anti-nausea pills. The next thing is insomnia. I just lay there at night and "Think about my life".  There are those words again. I am trying to focus on the present, taking it day by day. Things are good,  I have my family and friends. I couldn't adore my grandchildren more! All in all, life is good.  Everyone here is decorating the Christmas tree. The kids here, Thais and Tiago, are so excited.  I watch them and I just have to smile. The things they say and do are great, funny and sometimes shocking. They hold nothing back and say what they mean. It is great.

I received a package from London today.  It was August's school picture. She looks so grown up. There is also a picture of Jessica, Christian, Augi and Emmett. They all look great.  The Christmas card has a drawing of an angel drawn by August. She is quite the artist. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, really! I love those guys!!

I saw a genetics counselor Friday. He took saliva samples from me to get my genes tested. It should take about 2 weeks to get the results. I am doing this mainly for my daughter. If I have the gene for ovarian cancer then she can be tested. It can be helpful for my sisters also, if they want it to be. I may be able to give them some helpful information if they choose to pursue it farther. I talked with him for about an hour. We went over my family tree, as far as I could remember. He also talked about the risks of having this done. Its mainly concerning medical insurance and life insurance and the inability to get it once my results are on file. Marcos, the geneticist, said it was "like finding the needle in the haystack."  He was very nice and I enjoyed our visit. I will see him on January 5th to go over the results and discuss where to go from here.  I am not sure what that means but I am sure he will tell me.It should be interesting. I sincerely hope that this cancer is just a mutated gene on its own. We will see. 

 I want to express my thanks to all of you for your support this last year.  Just talking and laughing with each one of you has helped me through this, both emotionally and physically. Each and every one of you are my heros.  May you all have a fantastic christmas as well a fabulous 2011!!

chemo day

I had my chemo session on Tuesday and it went very well. The drug they are giving me is Doxel. It is suppose to effect my skin. I have 2 pages of things not to do in the first few days after treatment like no hot drinks, no tight fitting clothing, no leaning on my elbows, and my hands and feet are going to get rashes and blisters... what fun!!!  Anyway so far so good. I was very wired after my session and then very tired. I have done nothing for 2 days but sleep. I am feeling much better tonite. I have an appointment with a genetic doctor tomorrow. I am going to find out if I have the gene for ovarian cancer. This is mainly for Jessica. If I do have the gene she can have hers tested, should be interesting.  Still waiting on Home Depot to transfer me from SL to SD. They are really dragging thier feet on this. Ill call tomorrow again.  Maybe I will go down there tomorrow after my appointment. Good Idea.

I talked to my grandchildren today. August has the cutest english accent and Emmett is talking so good. I miss them very much. I sent them "The Night Before Christmas" book. It was one of those that you record your voice reading.  They seemed to enjoy it. It was good to talk to my daughter.  I miss her very much too.

I want to wish all of you a "Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."  I am so thankful for all my family and friends. If not for you guys being there for me through this, I don't know what I would do!  I know, I am getting kinda muushy, but I am very sincere when I say this.

I am in paradise

I am sitting on the front porch enjoying the sun.  It is 10:00 in the morning, December 12Th and it is 82 degrees outside.  I wish I was younger. I would go to the beach and lay in the sun. I will miss the white Christmas though.

I have spoke to the Home Depot here and the one in Utah. The paperwork is in the works for me to transfer here.  I have my first Chemo on Tuesday. I am kinda nervous, but it should go OK.

I received a package from England yesterday. My grandchildren both sent me paintings. They are beautiful. I sure miss them.  I do not know when I will be able to go to England. I miss all of them immensely.

Well, I am otherwise very bored. My stomach hurts but I have pills for that.
Maybe I will go to the beach anyway!!  I miss all of you in Utah!!!

Day at the beach

Linda's twin sister Lydia and thier mom came to San Diego to  visit for a while so we all went to La Jolla Beach today. It was great. No wind, the beach was not crowded, just lots of birds, seals, sand, and good company. Very relaxing day.

I have been to two doctors and had all the tests done. I some spots of cancer that needs chemo so I start December 14th with a new chemo drug. It will only be every 4 weeks and will only take 2 hours.  I am scheduled thru February, then more testing to see how the cancer is reacting.  My tumor count has gone from 17 to 30. My doctor said that is not bad considering I was up above 500 at one time.  I am going to transfer to a home depot here and call san diego home for a while.  Tiago, Heathers son, is having his 4th birthday here this weekend. Should be fun!

here we go again

I have found that in life sometimes one of the hardest things to do is smile. I am so grateful for my family and friends being there and being such a good support system. I guess it takes something like cancer to open your eyes and realize that they have always been there for me.
Cancer  is back and so I am back in SD. Tomorrow is thanks giving.  It is good to see my SD family. I wish It were under better circumstances.
I do not know alot about my health at the moment. My doctor is out of town until Monday. I have seen my Oncologist/OBGYN and he said my cancer is back but he does not know to what extent. They did a physical exam and took about a gallon of blood. Now it is just hurry up and wait. I definitly am going to have chemo again.
My sister in law, Yolanda, passed away last Monday. She has been battling ovarian cancer for around 3 years. She is no longer in pain which is a good thing. I am very proud of my brother and how strong he is. I think it is much harder on your loved ones when this damned desease hits. I love you Dennis.

I will let you all know about my condition as I find out.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU ALL 

goood news!

I AM IN REMISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHOOOHOOOOO!!!.
Now this does not mean I am cancer free, but my tumor count is 20.5 and going down. My lungs are fine and I have an appointment with my regular M.D., Dr. Quach, on wednesday for a overall physical exam and to find out if I will still need coumadin, which they put me on when I developed a blood clot in my lung.  If everything is good Linda and I are going to head for Utah Wednesday afternoon. We will go half way on wednesday and the rest of the trip on Thursday. This is good because my brother Billy is having a procedure on the following Tuesday. He will be in the hospital overnight. I can go with him to the hospital. I will have to wear a mask but that is ok.  Heather, Ze and the kids are in Brazil for a month so Linda is going to spend time with her twin sister in Utah. She is going thru some really strong chemo so linda wants to be there with her and for her.    my last session of chemo is tomorrow. I will need to be very careful in what I do for the first 10 days. That is when I develop Nutropeena which means my white blood count is low which means my immune system is not working well. This is when i have had problems in the past. My Oncologist, Dr Liu said to keep monitoring my temp. if it goes over 100.5 head over to St. Marks Hospital. Hopefully I won't need to. She  gave me a release to go back to work at the end of the month. I need to come back to SD for a ct scan and blood tests and to see my doctor in December before I go to England to visit for Christmas...Oh ya, I didn' tell ya but I am going to England for Christmas to see my daughter and her family. I am so excited!!!
I went to a cancer support group this afternoon and after hearing the stories and watching them talk i realize just how lucky i am. some of these people have been fighting cancer for many years but their spirits are so high and they just appreciate every day one day at a time. I want to go to volunteer at the cancer wellness center with Lydia when I get back to Utah. I just feel the need to give back to others who are going thru this terrible fight. I realize I am not cancer free and that there is a very good chance it will show up again in the future but I am not going to sit around and wait for it. If and when it does come back I have learned, one day at a time. I am so proud of my sister-in-law, Yolanda for being so  strong and not letting cancer define her. I am also proud of my other sister-in-law, Lydia for also being so strong especially now she has started a very strong chemo drug. My thoughts and prayers are with both of them and I plan to visit each one of them when I return to Utah. So you both have been forewarned!